I Found (Reylo Fanfic)
by lonelyimsolonely
Summary: Picks up on my favorite scenes from TLJ and what I want to happen from there. Based on the song 'I Found' by Amber run. I just thought it was such a perfect song for Reylo :)
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, so I loved this scene sm in the movie, and I loved all the close ups for Kylo Ren during the scene, so I kind of wrote this but it's rlly cringe now that I look back on it and I can't even bring myself to read it, but since I have more planned, I figured I'd just leave this up so that the rest makes sense and hopefully I'll see improvement as I keep going ahaha. I ship Reylo really hard, but it's been years since I wrote anything, so I'm kinda bad with words, sorry about that :/

* * *

 _And I'll use you as a warning sign_

 _That if you talk enough sense, then you'll lose your mind_

"You underestimate Skywalker, and Ben Solo, and me. It will be your downfall."

Rey's words rang in Kylo's ears as he bowed his head to hide the conflict raging behind his eyes. She believed in him. But she really shouldn't. He was powerless to help her now.

"Ooooh," Snoke hissed, "have you seen something? A weakness in my apprentice, is that why you came?" Kylo glanced up, tension prickling in his shoulders. He could not have any weaknesses. He had killed them all. He tried to read the Supreme Leader's expression, already anticipating the endless torture to come after Snoke was through with Rey. Snoke's mirthless laugh echoed through the room, and Kylo flinched before he caught himself and steadied his breathing. Then Rey was flying across the room, up above his head, struggling against the Supreme Leader's power. He wanted to block her screams out, push them away, anywhere, so he wouldn't hear them, and know that it was all his fault. He would do anything, anything to know those screams weren't hers, that they were Snoke's, that they belonged to Hux, or even that they were his own screams. But he was powerless to help her now.

When his lightsaber ignited in Rey's hands, in the back of his mind, a shadow of a thought flickered briefly. Was it hope? He didn't know, and didn't stick around to find out, quickly shutting it down before the illegal notion left the shadows and stepped into the light, under Snoke's ever knowing glare. Her defiant stance lasted only a moment, before she was swept across the room, his lightsaber tossed carelessly at his feet. But it wasn't his lightsaber he was studying. It was hers. Was he mad?

"Because of that, you must die." You must die. Rey must die. The death sentence invaded every corner of his mind, consuming all other thoughts, echoing the same phrase: You Must Die. He knew he would never let that happen. His mind began scrambling as he began calculating how to execute his hastily crafted plan, if you could even call it that. There was no chance it would work- Snoke knew him too well, he'd be prepared. But there was no other option, he had to try. Picking up his lightsaber, he looked into Rey's eyes, his mind too devastating to navigate safely, but his resolve strengthening in his heart. He would do anything to save her. He would do anything for her. That he knew.

Carefully, steadying his shaking hand, quieting his faltering mind, pushing the hesitation back, he walked towards Rey.

"I know what I have to do." Yes he did. _Will you help me?_ But as he looked down at Rey's pleading eyes, he knew that she had helped him as much as she could.

"Ben" If he knew what he had to do, then why was he so scared, so hesitant? There was no room for doubt, he had to do this. For Rey. His gaze never leaving her, he steeled himself, then reached out with the force and turned the lightsaber on.

* * *

...

The emptiness in his mind nearly sent him over the edge, as Snoke's very presence was sucked out of him. All of his thoughts now bounced around chaotically in the vast emptiness where Snoke had watched over with scrutiny for so many years. The relief and shock in Rey's eyes brought him back to his situation, their situation. Her eyes probed his, searching for a reason, giving reassurance, maybe even thanking him, and he stared back, already calculating the million different ways they could die right now, but with the knowledge that they understood each other, and that they were in this together.

And that was why, when she fled, leaving him to deal with the consequences of his actions, the things he had done for her, she shattered his already bruised heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Edit: !HELP! I can't find my story on when i search for it, and it doesn't show up on the star wars page archive for fanfics. can someone tell me if it's just my laptop glitching?

Ok, so... School started, I have to write a research report (3000 ish words) by tomorrow, read a ton of stuff from my textbook, homework and all that, so I don't have much BUT I felt pressured to update since a few people are following my story ahaha, so sorry my updates aren't as regular and frequent, also thanks for following my story that actually means a lot since this is my first fanfiction and idk what to expect, also I would love feedback from yallz about anything like ideas, prompts, what you want to see happen (i kind of already have a plot planned, but there are holes so i might use some of your ideas) but srsly TYASM :D This will be my last chapter from the movie, and I'm not done with the chapter yet, so I'll update it probably in around a week.

* * *

And I'll use you as focal point

So I don't lose sight of what I want

They were so close. Just a few minutes until they blasted the doors open, eliminated the resistance, then... then what? Proceed to rule over the galaxy, Kylo supposed. It didn't really sound appealing without Rey at his side. To be honest, he was slightly dreading what was to come when the First Order stormed through the doors to snuff out the resistance. His mother would be in there, he knew, probably to try and negotiate some kind of agreement. He could already see the crushing disappointment in her eyes, the pity and horror mixed in, the distant, politician's smile she would offer him. He didn't want any of it.

He shook the thoughts of Leia from his head. He would figure it out as he went along. That was what he'd been doing since the Su- Snoke's, death anyways. Letting one thing lead to the other, and improvising in the moment. He might as well, since his life really had no direction, no motive, no anything at this point. He felt empty, Snoke's choking presence now a gaping hole in his mind. He just had to focus on one thing at a time. For instance, crushing the resistance.

Hux asked him about the Resistance fighters heading their way, and he gave Hux a satisfactory answer- Push through. Kylo really didn't care anymore about whatever happened to the First Order; he, for one, was not really a part of it, and the soldiers seemed to know that too. From the outside, it seemed that he held all the power, but he knew that Hux had the support of the troops, and he did not. He was not under any illusion that the soldiers needed, or even supported his control over their precious order. The first moment he slipped up, they would discard him like junk. That, he knew from the politics sessions with General Organa from h- Ben's childhood. He had to maintain this facade of being the all knowing Supreme Leader, or it was all over for him.

He felt a tug at the Force. Rey. A moment later, an all too familiar piece of junk soared into view, and a wave of rage washed over him.

"BLOW THAT PIECE OF JUNK OUT OF THE SKY!" he roared, and all the TIE-Fighters zoomed off after the Millenium Falcon, which swooped out of view, disappearing into the skyline. She was drawing them off. Working with the resistance, against him. And yet, through all his rage, he couldn't help but worry that in his fit of insanity, he might have sentenced her to death. He felt ridiculous, but there he was, in the safety of the control room, slamming his own TIE-Fighters into stalactites and guiding their shots off target into an inconvenient group of yet more stalactites. For a minute as he sabotaged his own troops, he felt a sense of purpose: don't let Rey get killed by the men you sent after her. He was a mess. But still, he reveled in the satisfaction that Rey was safe, that the men who went after her were probably lying in their cockpits, close to death. Rey was safe.

* * *

"Stop. I want every gun we have to fire on that man." The murderer himself. Luke Skywalker. "Do it." A fire exploded in him, burning down every last rational thought, as he watched the smoke and salt that used to be Luke. It turned cold when Luke stepped out of the dust, unscathed. Fine, he could finish Luke off. The resistance didn't matter to him anyways.

"Bring me down to him." he growled, "Keep the door covered, and don't advance until I say." Was he sabotaging the interests of the First Order? Quite possibly, but that was irrelevant. The whole First Order was irrelevant. Of course, Hux had his objections.

"Supreme Leader." He could hear the disdain in Hux's voice, the way he spit out the syllables as if Kylo wasn't worthy of them. "Don't get distracted. Our goal-" He wasn't in the mood for Hux's political shit. Not right now. Not when Luke Skywalker was right there, right there and alive.

And there he was, in the flesh, looking as righteous as ever.

"Did you come back to say you forgive me?" he mocked, his voice shaking with rage, "To save my soul?" Luke wouldn't ever begin to understand what he had done to Kylo. He ignited his lightsaber. It was time for this to end. For the past to die.

"No."

Luke ignited his lightsaber, and Kylo saw a flicker of blue on his robes. He almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. Luke wasn't really there. But he could still see, hear, and feel Kylo's rage, which was good enough for him. As long as he knew, really understood the extent of the damage he'd caused. Maybe he'd feel the sting of the lightsaber through the force, the way he had when Rey shot at him. He could feel the resistance fighters slipping away through the tunnels, and he let them. He'd rather not face his mother today. He'd rather not see her, or the resistance, ever to be honest. He let himself go, give in to the pure rage and let it take over, running towards Luke, the fucking- and he vanished. And reappeared behind him.

"See you around, kid." he said, pouring all those years of condescending dialogue and patronizing language, everything Kylo had ever hated about Luke Skywalker, into one sentence. And then he was gone, leaving Kylo alone with all the bottled up rage trapped inside him, looking for somewhere to go. The frustration was tearing him up inside, spilling out over the edges, and here he was again, by himself, hating everything and everyone.

He swept into the abandoned rebel base, and a sense of loneliness swept over him. It hung in the air like a heavy blanket, suffocating him with all the small things, details that should have meant nothing. The dice in his gloves, a reminder of his past life.

"With this, son, I won this beauty, and I haven't looked back since." Han smirked as he patted the love of his life, the Millenium Falcon. He leaned in a little closer, glancing left and right slyly, before whispering, a twinkle in his eye, "You know the trick? It's loaded. Not in the traditional sense, but I can use the magnets inside to give me whatever number I want, whenever I want." He winked, then took Ben's hands into his. "You'll be flying her with me someday, son. You wait a bit, and you'll be calling this" he spread his arms, walking backwards up the ramp, into the falcon, "home." And then he was gone, flying off towards who knows what again, probably not coming back until Ben had grown another 3 years, or maybe even 4.

Kylo felt a tug at the force, and when he looked up, it was Rey again, standing in the Falcon, where Han had stood 10 years ago, promising to see him soon.

Why did you not come with me?

I don't know.

I can't be who you want me to be.

I know.

And then she closed the door, and she was gone. The dice in his hands faded away, and he was holding empty air.


End file.
